I’m not a Patriot

I confess I’m not a patriot. I don’t fulfill the basic requirements of the trade, which according to our present CIA Director is the ability, and the willingness, to torture people.

Of course Obama says “folks” when he refers to people who have been tortured, and Brennan says “enhanced interrogation” when he actually means torture, but these are fine lines of semantics — we all refer to the same thing: the procedures which Dick Cheney would do again in a second (I can see how he licks his lips) if the instruments of water boarding, bull horns and genital electrification were in place and a suitable subject were handed to him.

When I got my citizenship, in 1998, the craft of torturing was not a requirement, and I was not asked a single question. That might have changed now, after 9/11 — if you cannot stand up for your country and perform the necessary frontal and rectal hydrations on unquestionable subjects with a cheerful determination, then how can you claim a place in this great nation?

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